Play is Purposeful!

Play is generally defined as activity engaged in for enjoyment, pleasure, or recreation, but, for an infant or toddler, play is an integral part of promoting healthy development! Children learn through play, and play provides sensory, physical, cognitive, and emotional experiences that help build connections in their brains.

Play Promotes Skill Development

Your child is constantly watching you and the world around them and absorbing your actions and those of others. You can purposefully model interactions and teach through your interactions, and playing with your child makes doing so fun! You can use strategies during play interactions with your child to encourage and support skill development in several areas, such as the following:

  • Teach your child communication skills by helping them learn new words and calmly express feelings through words, gestures, and facial expressions.
  • Focus on literacy skills and academic readiness through activities like counting, shape identification, and singing the alphabet song.
  • Incorporate motor-skill development by playing games that include hand-eye coordination, like catching a ball, or grasping and moving objects.
  • Find ways to model and teach social-emotional skills like sharing, waiting patiently for one’s turn, and managing frustration.
  • Provide opportunities for your child to make choices and work on developing their problem-solving skills.
  • Explore your child’s curiosity and creativity through activities like imaginative storytelling.

Play Strengthens Attachment and Attunement

Play also provides an opportunity for you to demonstrate to your child aspects that are important for healthy attachment such unconditional love; safety; that they are heard, seen, and valued; and that they will be comforted and supported when needed (Brown & Elliott, 2016).

Consider this example. A parent and toddler are enjoying putting together a simple puzzle of animal-shaped pieces; while fitting the pieces into the puzzle, they are giggling as they make silly animal sounds. When the child becomes frustrated by not being able to fit a piece, the parent patiently reassures the child with gentle words and a loving touch. In this simple example, the loving interaction with this parent comforted the child and built skills for emotional regulation.

In addition, play gives you opportunities to share your culture and values. By doing this, you can help build your child’s sense of belonging while also molding pro-social beliefs (e.g., respect for diversity, compassion, honesty).

Furthermore, play creates opportunities to observe what your child is experiencing and expressing. It allows you to increase your attunement to your child, which means you can better recognize, understand, and engage with their inner thoughts and feelings. Parents and caregivers can learn so much about their children during play when they make an effort to notice! You can learn the following about your child if you purposely observe your child and their behaviors during play:

  • personality traits (e.g., sensitive, persistent, cautious, agreeable, optimistic)
  • temperament (e.g., activity/energy level, reactivity, adaptability)
  • interests (e.g., trains, dinosaurs)
  • likes and dislikes (e.g., song or book preferences, what frustrates the child)
  • signals and emotional cues (e.g., rubs eyes when tired)
  • preferred ways to be calmed and soothed (e.g., rocked, hugged)

Engage in Different Types of Play

There are different types of play, and each type provides interaction opportunities for connection, communications, affection, modeling, and teaching. For example, during constructive play, a child constructs, shapes, or builds something (e.g., using building blocks), and this type of play builds fine motor and problem-solving skills. Other types of play build social skills such as cooperative play (e.g., building sandcastles together) and competitive play (e.g., playing a board game). Imagination is sparked with dramatic or fantasy play (e.g., child acts out situations and roles with a puppet) or symbolic play (e.g., using a cardboard box as a house, drinking water from a play tea set). Some play is cognitively focused like language play (e.g., rhyming words), while other play is physical and builds gross- or fine-motor skills like functional play (e.g., using a toy vacuum) or physical play (e.g., throwing a ball).

Be Purposeful in Playful Interactions

It may take some practice to become comfortable with playing as play can be unstructured, repetitive, and even messy! Sometimes, parents or caregivers might select an activity with the intent of teaching their child, such as playing a game in which they match shapes. Other times, parents and caregivers can let their child take the lead! Their child will be learning verbal and social skills as the parent or caregiver follows along – talking with the child but not giving directives. Below are sample play and interaction activities you can try:

  • Get on your child’s level, and engage in floor play (e.g., put together a floor puzzle, stack blocks)
  • Read books together
  • Play simple games (e.g., what sounds do animals make, guess items in a bag by touch)
  • Sing silly songs
  • Facilitate exploration (e.g., find different types of fruit at the grocery store)
  • Play with tactile toys and expressive materials (e.g., water, sand, paint, playdough)
  • Make helping a game (e.g., match colored socks)
  • Find enrichment in your environment (e.g., go to the library, take a nature walk)
  • Be playful in simple daily activities (e.g., sing a song while dressing)
  • Set up a child-friendly cabinet with items (e.g., plastic bowls and spoons), and engage your child in stacking, banging, and shaking the items
  • Play imitation games (e.g., gesture rhymes like Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes)
  • Fill an album with photos of family and friends, and play a game to find specific people
  • Use a mirror to explore facial features and expressions (e.g., Where is your nose?)
  • Be physically active (e.g., playground, swimming pool, indoor obstacle course)
  • Count, sort, or match items (e.g., count the number of toy cars)

Communicate with Care During Play

How parents and caregivers interact during play is as important as the activities they chose to play. During play, your words and actions can communicate to your child that they are loved, valued, and supported, and you can teach them new vocabulary, how to make decisions, and how to socialize with others (e.g., taking turns). With each interaction, you build their skills and self-esteem! Try these strategies:

  • Give loving and nurturing touches during activities (e.g., rub your child’s back)
  • Name objects and their characteristics (e.g., colors, textures, tastes)
  • Use gestures (e.g., point to an item) to help a child connect names with objects
  • Provide explanations for actions (e.g., The doll is hungry, so I am going to feed her with this bottle.)
  • Comment on what a child is doing (e.g., You picked a bright yellow crayon for coloring.)
  • Ask open-ended questions (e.g., Where will you park the car?)
  • Expand on a child’s vocabulary with descriptive words (e.g., building words like “over” and “under”)
  • Offer praise for effort (e.g., You worked so hard to build that tall block tower!)
  • Use constructive language (e.g., please do this vs. don’t do that)
  • Avoid criticism, blame, and shame

When to Stop Playing

Play boosts children’s healthy development and can be part of meeting recommended physical activity requirements. Although infants need about 30 minutes a day of “tummy time” or interactive play and toddlers need about 3 hours total of physical activity each day (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2020), you should monitor your child’s energy and attention levels during play as children can grow tired of interacting or may need time to process and reflect on their learning. The following are some signs that a young child may need some rest from the stimulation of play:

  • Crying or making fussy sounds
  • Rubbing or closing eyes
  • Arching back
  • Turning away
  • Clenching fists and/or waving arms and kicking
  • Throwing tantrums
  • Refusing to continue or fulfill simple requests
  • Struggling to use words to convey feelings

Infants and toddlers grow quickly. Cherish this time of playful fun! Through play, you are helping your child to understand how to interact, that they have an impact on objects and other people, and to be a creative problem solver. While having fun, you are laying a foundation for your child’s future relationships, learning, and success!

Additional Resources

Zero to Three

American Academy of Pediatrics

National Association for the Education of Young Children

Empowered Parents

Genius of Play

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2020, August 5). Making physical activity a way of life: AAP policy explained. healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/fitness/Pages/Making-Fitness-a-Way-of-Life

Brown, D. P., & Elliott, D. S. (2016). Attachment disturbances in adults: Treatment for comprehensive repair. W.W. Norton.

Ginsberg, K. R., Committee on Communications, & the Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics119(1), 182-191. https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/119/1/182/70699/The-Importance-of-Play-in-Promoting-Healthy-Child

Milteer, R. M., Ginsburg, K. R., Council on Communications and Media Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, Mulligan, D. A., Ameenuddin, N., Brown, A., Christakis, D. A., Cross, C., Falik, H. L., Hill, D. L., Hogan, M. J., Levine, A. E., O’Keeffe, G. S., & Swanson, W. S. (2012). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bond: Focus on children in poverty. Pediatrics129(1), e204-e213. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2011-2953

Screen Time and Autism

Screen time – understanding the positives and negatives and regulating your family’s usage of it can be overwhelming. You may feel as though your daily life, and your children’s daily lives, revolve around screens and digital media. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has created screen time recommendations for parents and caregivers of children. The type of screen time that the AAP recommends families limit is considered recreational. Recreational screen time includes digital media like television shows, video games, and various forms of social media.

The AAP (2016) suggests families follow the digital-media guidelines listed below for children:

  • Birth to 18 months. Avoid digital-media use.
  • 18 to 24 months. Use only high-quality programming, and view the programming with your child. Try to avoid letting your child use digital media on their own.
  • 2 to 5 years. Limit screen time to 1 hour per day. Continue using only high-quality programming. Use media as an opportunity to discuss with your child what they are seeing and doing on screen; make connections, if possible, to the real world; and remind them the screen world is not reality.
  • 5 to 18 years. During these years, you should pay close attention to not just how much screen time your child gets but to when they are using screens. Ensure your child is getting a full night’s sleep (i.e., 9 – 12 hours a night for ages 6 – 12 and 8 – 10 hours a night for ages 13-18), and they are engaging in at least 1 hour of physical activity a day. In addition, you may wish to instill a “no screen time” directive during family mealtimes or other family times, like game night. Finally, help your child develop a period of “downtime” that does not involve screens, like taking a walk in the park, reading a book, or writing thoughts in a journal.

The AAP (2016) also suggests that families avoid fast-paced programs, programming that has violent subject matter, and applications that contain a lot of distracting content like flashing advertisements and excessive noise. Families should turn off devices if they are not in use and avoid using media as a way to calm their child. Furthermore, screens should not be in children’s bedrooms, and screen time before bedtime should be monitored and limited. Using screens immediately before bedtime can lead to sleep issues.

To help regulate screen time usage, families can create and download a Family Media Plan here.

Types of Screen Time

Not all screen time is bad. There are digital activities your child may engage in that are necessary and appropriate uses of technology. For example, with the increased use of digital devices within the classroom, your child may need to use a computer during school hours or use a tablet to complete their homework or read their assigned classwork materials. Additionally, an activity, like video chatting with an absent parent, a distant relative, or friends who have moved away, is a positive way to use technology. This type of use allows for social interaction even when there is a physical distance between a loved one and your child.

Using digital media can have additional positive uses. For example, for children who struggle when interacting in social settings and communicating with others, like children with Autism, using digital media can help them manage their interactions and have downtime to handle daily, new, or even challenging situations.

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can have “significant social, communication, and behavioral challenges” (Indiana Resource Center for Autism, 2022). As a result, part of a child’s evidence-based communication and social intervention practices may include the following screen-related options (Lofland, 2014):

  • Video Modeling – records and displays a visual model of a targeted behavior or skill.
  • Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) – teaches a child to communicate by exchanging a picture for the object they need or desire.
  • Voice Output Communication Aids (VOCA) – a portable electronic device that can generate a digital speech output.

Reminder: These types of screen time would not be included in the recommendations for limiting recreational screen time as they are used for daily functioning and communication.

Using Media Constructively

Children with ASD are at a higher risk for using technology in a way to “sensory-seek,” which means they use technology to view highly arousing or violent content in order to get enough sensory stimulation(Lane & Radesky, 2019). However, with the correct monitoring and use, parents can use recreational media in a constructive way for children affected by Autism. Please see below.

Television Shows can be used by parents to help model positive behaviors and social interaction for their children (Connick, 2021). Children with ASD can have issues with communication, social interaction, and behavior. By watching shows with your child and discussing what the characters are doing, like sharing or playing with other children, you can help to open discussions with your child (even if it is you doing the majority of the talking) about how interactions work in a way that is interesting and less stressful for your child.

A few television shows that may be beneficial for your child can be found here.

Video Games (that are age appropriate) can be used to connect children to others because the individuals engaged in the game share common interests, and they can interact with each other or others in a comfortable setting around a common activity. By removing any face-to-face interaction, which can often be intimidating for children with ASD, less stress is placed on the child as moves can be redone or repeated, and mistakes can be corrected more easily (Smith, 2016).

Games that may interest your child will depend on their interests and ability to learn how to play the game(s) in question. Popular games such as Minecraft, Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, and Mario Bros. offer opportunities to engage and learn in a fun environment that can be shared and discussed with other peers (Kulman, 2020).

Even if you can’t or do not have an interest in playing the game with your child, you can, and should, involve yourself in their interest by watching them play and asking questions. This can help to foster a connection with you child and positively contribute to the social aspect of the game because your child learns how to answer your questions and practices interacting with you.

Social Media, when monitored and discussed, can also help to broaden social interactions and relationships between your child and your child’s peers. A study conducted by researchers at the Yale Department of Psychiatry and Yale Child Study Center has shown that children with ASD are able to create friendships with high quality by using social media (Van Schalkwyk et al., 2017). Although more research needs to be completed, it is believed that “social media may be a way for adolescents with ASD without significant anxiety to improve the quality of their friendships” (Van Schalkwyk et al., 2017).

Ultimately, screen time for your child is going to depend on what works best for you, your family, and your child. However, there are useful tools for children who struggle with a disability, like ASD that limits their ability to interact in social situations. Using digital resources that are available to your child can be beneficial. Remember, monitor your child’s screen time usage, role model appropriate screen time behaviors, and use safe digital media practices. You can learn more about general internet safety here.

Additional Resources

AAP Recommendations

Keeping Technology in Check: Mindful Technology Use DOs for Parents

Screen Time Can Benefit Kids With Autism, Parents And Researchers Say

Evidence-Based Practices for Effective Communication and Social Intervention

Autism Parenting Magazine

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016, November 1). Where we stand: Screen time. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Where-We-Stand-TV-Viewing-Time.aspx

Connick, R. (2021, April 28). Three great shows for children with Autism and their parents. Autism Parenting Magazine. https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-three-great-shows/

Council on Communications and Media, Hill, D., Ameenuddin, N., Chassiakos, Y. R., Cross, C., Hutchinson, J., Levine, A., Boyd, R., Mendelson, R., Moreno, M., & Swanson, W. S. (2016). Media and young minds. Pediatrics, 138(5), e20162591. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-2591

Council on Communications and Media, Hill, D., Ameenuddin, N., Chassiakos, Y. R., Cross, C., Hutchinson, J., Levine, A., Boyd, R., Mendelson, R., Moreno, M., & Swanson, W. S. (2016). Media use in school-aged children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 138(5), e20162592. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-2592

Indiana Resource Center for Autism. (2022). Learn about autism. https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca/learn-about-autism/index.html

Kulman, R. (2022, August 12). Making popular video games good for kids affected by autism. Autism Parenting Magazine. https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/video-games-for-autism-kids/

Lane, R., & Radesky, J. (2019). Digital media and autism spectrum disorders: Review of evidence, theoretical concerns, and opportunities for intervention. Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics40(5), 364–368. https://doi.org/10.1097/DBP.0000000000000664

Lofland, K. (2014). Evidence-based practices for effective communication and social intervention. Indiana Resource Center for Autism. https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca/articles/evidence-based-practices-for-effective-communication-and-social-intervention.html

Smith, H. (2016, October 14). How video games benefit students with special needs. Asperger / Autism Network. https://www.aane.org/video-games-benefit-students-special-needs/

Van Schalkwyk, G. I., Marin, C. E., Ortiz, M., Rolison, M., Qayyum, Z., McPartland, J. C., Lebowitz, E. R., Volkmar, F. R., & Silverman, W. K. (2017). Social media use, friendship quality, and the moderating role of anxiety in adolescents with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders47(9), 2805–2813. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3201-6