Determining when to buy your child their first cell phone may be a challenging decision for parents today. With so many factors to consider—from safety and social pressures to your child’s maturity level and the potential risks of technology—you may feel overwhelmed. To help guide you in making your decision, you may want to consider recent studies and expert opinions.
When Is the Right Time?
Thoughts and research behind the timing of when to give a child a cell phone have recently shifted. Evaluating a child’s developmental stage as opposed to just a child’s age (Miller, 2023) is an important concept to consider. Dr. Dave Anderson from the Child Mind Institute notes that while a fourth grader might benefit from having a phone for communication and safety, parents may prefer to delay exposure to the internet and social media apps until later (Miller, 2023). This idea highlights the importance of thinking about factors like level of responsibility, impulse control, and maturity and may help you consider other elements, such as starting with simpler devices, setting clear boundaries, and actively guiding your child’s cell phone use. Here are some strategies that may help guide you as you decide on when to give your child a cell phone:
Assess Readiness: Consider your child’s responsibility level. If they manage their belongings well, are conscientious about schoolwork, and follow the household rules, they might be ready for a cell phone. If they struggle with impulse control or have anxiety, you may want to wait (Charaipotra, 2023).
Start Simple: If you are unsure about giving your child a smartphone, consider starting with a basic phone or smartwatch. A basic or feature phone is a mobile device that has limited features, and many smartwatches allow the user to communicate via voice or text and be tracked by parents without being exposed to the risks associated with internet access and social media. You may want to consider these options as a first step to cell phone usage (Miller, 2023).
Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear rules for cell phone use. Create a Family Media Plan or cell phone contract to set time limits, monitor app usage, and designate phone-free zones. Remember to regularly review and adjust these rules as your child matures and their needs change (Charaipotra, 2023). Consider implementing a no-screen rule at least 30 minutes before bedtime as suggested by the U. S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines (CDC, 2024).
Be Involved and Explore Resources: Actively monitor how your child uses their cell phone, and discuss online safety, appropriate behavior, and the apps they are using. The Thrive Professional Resource guide provides a Family Media Action Plan (page 17), which offers additional tips on managing screen time and suggests ways to help promote responsible phone use.
Model Good Behavior: Your relationship with technology may set the tone for your child. To help them develop healthy phone habits, lead by example. Here are some strategies on how you can do this:
- Set Limits for Yourself: Establish personal boundaries for your own cell phone use. For example, decide on specific times when you will put your cell phone away, such as during family meals or when spending quality time with your child.
- Create Rules for Your Family: Create rules, abide by them, and enforce them. Some rules could be no screen use during extracurricular activities, family game night, or mealtimes and/or no cell phone use 30 minutes before bedtime.
- Designate Phone-Free Zones: Establish areas in your home where cell phones are off-limits, such as the dining room or your child’s bedroom. This helps create spaces that are dedicated to family interaction or focused activities (e.g., sleep) without the distraction of screens.
- Store Screens Away During Dinner: Make it a rule to place all devices on the counter or in a designated spot during meals. This can encourage conversation and help everyone stay present and connected.
- Promote Open Communication: Be transparent about your own cell phone use. Tell your child why you are setting these limits, and discuss the benefits of reducing screen time, like getting better sleep, having improved focus, and engaging in more meaningful interactions.
To help create positive cell phone experiences, consider your child’s maturity, start with simpler options, set clear rules, and maintain a balanced approach. Remember, you should be aware of and understand the potential risks associated with cell phone usage (e.g., social media, cyberbullying, online safety, physical health), and discuss these with your child to help them navigate the digital world safely and responsibly.
Additional Resources
References
Charaipotra, S. (2023, September 13). How to tell if your kid is ready for a smartphone. Parents. https://www.parents.com/kids/safety/internet/the-great-phone-debate/
Healthy Screen Habits. (2024). The 5 core healthy screen habits. https://www.healthyscreenhabits.org/tools
Miller, C. (2023, October 30). When should you get your kid a phone? It’s not just a question of the right age. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/when-should-you-get-your-kid-a-phone/
U. S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 15). About Sleep. Sleep. https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/index.html